Lots of good info here from everyone and as you can tell, a good deal of this is subjective to each of our own experiences, but let me give my two cents worth.
1) You should be able to drive home without an issue - will you feel a twinge in your Johnson? Probably - but, at least for me, think of it like when you have a nagging background headache - you know it's there, you know it annoys, it would be nicer if it stopped - but all in all you can live with it. When you say you want to keep this private - it's not generally the existence of the pierce that creates issues in a group living arrangement, it's the healing process. How do you explain the sudden craving for sea salt? lol. And all those trips to the bathroom where you give yourself that soak. And the sudden twinges you might feel below the waist as you move or twist - you suddenly have a pulled muscle to all your supportive relatives and friends. How much you bleed or don't is really individual. I was able to get away from bandages within two or three days - but didn't because the bandage kept my jewelry from moving or being tugged by my underwear which made the healing more comfortable. Which leads to #2...
2. 9 to 12 days should provide enough time to get accustomed to the existence of the PA. You might actually want the movement of work because I found myself readjusting a lot in the early days. If you have a job that allows you to move that may play both ways... cause some twinges but also gives you a time and place excuse to adjust your "clothes." There is a distinction between adjust to the PA and fully healed. Fully healed will be months - and the guys reference "crusties" and/or I think "sebum" that is that junk that for some piercings seems to take forever to go away and stinks! But that is what the sea salt baths are for. Get a cup the right size to hold your head, keep your salt or a small bag of it nearby, and use hot water from the sink to fill the cup, add salt and drop on in a few times a day til you feel comfortable. And feel free to revisit if you have flare-ups. Having the patience to heal is the hardest part of this. You got a PA because you wanted one... and then that tiny ring doesn't seem enough - show patience and you will be fine.
3. Stretching is another topic you don't need to hit today. BUT I did an entry on here at one point because I moved larger too quickly, it hurt all the time and I ended up pulling my PA and giving up... for a day. Then I went back down in size and learned patience. I think like many gents here I love the idea that I have this secret party in my pants - and I didn't want to give up because I got too anxious to move up in size. The other thing about stretching is - again, it's individual, depending on your body and where you get the piercing, you may have more or less skin to hold the bigger rings. Too little and it won't support the extra size and weight well. You may get tearing instead of stretching... listen to and look at your body for how it is handling each new size. How deep down you go also creates the issue of what size jewelry you will need to reach the two openings. Deeper you go the bigger the ring or the longer a curved barbell you will need.
4. I will say that I started with a CBR and as some noted, the thinner smaller jewelry seemed to give me the most issues - probably because the small diameter of the gauge means any stress being applied by a twist in the jewelry is concentrated on a smaller patch of skin in contact with metal - so it feels like it is cutting in. In my initial healing the CBR was the worst because the extended portion of the ring outside the head kept catching in my underwear... think of that outer section of loop like a big sail to catch on every piece of clothing you wear. I eventually went to curved barbells to ease contact and catching and it was heaven. BUT that is also where you may want bigger balls because I kept finding my small ball curved barbell being swallowed into the head and then the end sticking out the fistula would be waving around and getting stuck in clothing. So a happy medium on ball size is helpful... and big balls look kinda hot too while giving the impression of bigger gauge while you are still healing in the smaller gauges.
5. if you can give blood even though afraid of needles you can take the piercing without needing anesthetic, a good piercer will be that quick - so find a good piercer. That being noted I am not saying don't use local anesthetic - anything to help you feel more comfortable with the process is a plus. I am simply saying that for me I think the fear of the pain was much much greater than the actual pain. It was a sudden pinch and done.
6. Living with on a daily basis - early on it causes silly grins at the oddest times which you can't explain to anyone - because you are grinning about having your PA and no one knows, or you are proud to have made this choice in your life, or one of a million little silly things. Like when you hear your jewelry jingle against each other (when you add that next piece like a frenum) and know it was heard, but no one reacted because to them it was just background noise - they had no cause to look at your crotch and say - Hey, your crotch is jingling, do I need to answer that? But you know what jingled :-). Did I feel that background headache kind of pain a lot? Early on yes, then when I patiently stretched I would feel it for a few days. But on the whole, I enjoy having mine immensely. Do I make sure I am wearing tighter briefs or a combo that won't jingle when in quiet company? Yep. But in public for the most part I don't care. Do you get to the point you forget it is there - yes you do! Until you have to pee, and again, that is an individual thing. I would recommend avoiding light colored pants till you get urinal peeing down pat lol. You sometimes don't even realize you have a surprise stream running off the curve of a ring or the side of a ballend until you feel the moist spot on your leg. But I have to go through metal detectors a lot - the first time that I thought of that it freaked me out because I knew I would get called out! So I put my ring in my pocket to see if it would cause a beep... it didn't. Now I go through all the time and when I beep I know it will be a coin, a key or a zipper - but not my metal... So no real issues other than those in my mind. You should be able to enjoy.